I think it was around the fall of 2006, I was a freshman in college, and after listening to my professors yammer on about accounting and calculus and all other sorts of business-major nonsense, I realized that I couldn’t take a traditional route. I wanted a job that allowed flexibility – a job that I could enjoy and have fun with. And what better medium for this job than the internet?
So at the age of nineteen I started a fetish site for Jews interested in bestiality called FuckingSeabrisket.com. Unfortunately, it ended up failing because of several lawsuits brought on by farmers whose horses were featured in the videos without their permission.
And because the actors on my site were illegally smuggled into the country from Mexico, I was stuck with 6 immigrants who weren’t sure what to do with their lives. I mean when there was a horse around they knew exactly what to do, but without the comforting thrusts of the sensual equine, the Juarez family was lost.
Promising to make things right, I set out with these six immigrants on a cross-country journey that was filled with all sorts of hi-jinks and every song from the Road Trip soundtrack. Sadly, the good times stopped rolling when tragedy struck and I lost the Juarez family in a freak accident that involved me leaving them on the side of the highway on purpose.
Finally arriving back in Boston, MA after a year of wandering the American landscape, I promptly put up this site. Here I will share my life, my thoughts and my deepest emotions.
Actually, no. The truth is I didn’t know what to put in this section so I made up the Juarez story while I was watching Iron Chef.
To be perfectly honest I just wanna rip really offensive jokes, and that’s what this place is all about.
-Justin
